This is not a subject I write about often. Mostly because I don’t have the best track record. Partly because it’s usually too personal. And because, let’s be honest, I don’t find myself in a position right now to be giving boy advice to anyone (read: I’m single and have been for quite some time now).
For those who don’t know, I had a boyfriend up until senior year of high school (about 3 1/2 years – yes I was like 13 when we started dating). This boy pretty much became my world and most plans started and ended with him. As we grew up together, I realized we were growing into two very different people which ultimately lead to the end of our relationship. Being single my senior year of high school was definitely an interesting experience. I wasn’t used to it and didn’t really know what to do with myself.
There has been a lot of self-growth since then but there has also been plenty of mistakes. Some of them make for funny stories for college friends of a wilder, younger me, but some make me feel just a little too ashamed to share. I’ve made plenty of recent mistakes, don’t get me wrong. But I like to think that now I’m a little bit wiser and can scope out a terrible decision before it happens.
College boys are one of the most confusing species I’ve ever encountered. Add to that the whole hook-up culture we’ve got going, and you’ve basically got a recipe for disaster. Some people are lucky enough to find someone they love who loves them back and they never have to deal with this crap. Many of us are not so fortunate. If you’re part of this “unlucky” group, I challenge you to change your mindset (more on that later). But I also understand how easy it is to fall into mistakes.
My blanket statement advice? Know your worth. Know what you deserve and don’t put up with anything less than that. If you’re completely comfortable with your sexuality and exploring it, you do you (just be safe). If you want to wait until marriage, then wait. Don’t let anyone pressure you and don’t let society dictate what you should or shouldn’t be doing. Have respect for yourself and realize that being someone’s booty call for 6 months probably won’t work out the way you want. Don’t spend time with someone you don’t enjoy just because you don’t want to be alone. Finally, don’t be afraid to be single. Being single can be a blessing – one that allows you the freedom and space to figure out who you really are and what you want. Use the time you have to realize that boys are not everything; despite how often it may seem like it.